Jealousy sucks.

• I hate my room. I hate the floor, I hate the walls. I want white walls and wooden floors. I want my walls filled with different sizes and frames. Oh! I love gold.
• I want to be able to paint. I can’t. I can never.
• I love negative space.
• I love details and I love “How It’s Made.” Sign me up.
• I love research. I love learning. Always have.
• I hate tests and I hated High School.
• I hate it when people correct my spelling in a returned text message. It makes me so angry.
• I’m so desperate for people to talk to me, to want to. But I want nothing to do with them. I could shut the door and be okay with it.
• I would rather listen.
• I don’t want to start the conversation. I want to hear you talk while I stare at the complex shapes in the tile on the floor. 
• High School = always feeling you’re never good enough for the friends you made way back then.
• College = always feeling like you’re never going to get a 3.0 when everyone thinks you need it.
• I don’t want it, I never did.
• If people could talk to me without me feeling like a ghost that would be grand.